A New Goal, an Achieved Goal

So it has been a little while since I last posted an update on how things are going. Part of the reason I have failed to post... I was losing sight of the prize, a healthier, happier, more disciplined me. Over these last weeks, I have had my first disappointment... and some good loss. But it has been easy to lose myself and justify my set backs... until the week before last.

The first disappointment... a gain. A very minimal gain, but coming off of a very good week of healthy eating habits and plenty of vigorous exercise a gain was insane and unexpected. I came home from Mass. having lost 3.8. The same day we got back- I played in McSoccerfest with some friends from church. It was hot, I sweat, and I ate well. Then I did my usual kickboxing on Tuesday, maybe some minor work on days in between, but I was expecting some good numbers, but a .6 gain! It was unbelievable, but I thought with being my active... maybe I was becoming my old muscular self. So though I was disappointed, I lost every week for about 24weeks, I moved on to not let that happen again. I figured with gaining that the next week would make up for it.

And it did! I lost 4.2 that next week!! WOW! I was excited and felt back on track. But then I slacked off in activity and Jeremiah had gotten pretty sick on my kickboxing day and I missed for his Dr's appointment, not to mention those blasted cookies that I ate on the (5th) to curb eating the fired baskets they were serving at the fairgrounds. And no, I did not try and make up for that loss of activity. BTW, he was okay, he had a double ear infection- again! I think those tubes are gonna be coming soon. Horrible! But anyway, that week I gained .2. I justified the gain by averaging out the losses. The previous weeks were still about 1.5lbs and these 2 weeks would be about 2lbs, so I thought I was still on track. But my better eating habits were diminishing with every slice of pizza I ate! And my exercise became of little importance in light of my regular weekly obligations. Funny thing though... our meeting topic... getting to our boiling point!! Something about water being HOT at 211 degrees, but BOILING at just one degree more at 212. So the point was to step it up one degree! Easy enough. I walked out feeling reved and ready to take my week on.

The first day was going well. The first day of my week (Friday) was the last day of Mikah's soccer camp. I had a good breakfast, but when we got home, I tried to turn the microwave on to heat up the boys' mini corn dogs so they could eat and I could heat up my SMART ONE, but it wasn't working. Meanwhile, Mikah kept telling me he couldn't get the TV on- which at the time I didn't care because I wanted everyone to EAT so they could NAP! Then I realized... the power was off. I called my parents to see if they had any idea what was going on, my dad had just gotten through the traffic by the AFB where a DUMP TRUCK pulled out with his bed UP and took out the lines! Pepco said we were to be out of power till about 2am!! AND IT WAS HOT! But more importantly, I was too tired to go back out and I had $7! I had money enough for McDonalds but was not putting 3 kids back in the car to go out. My parents being wonderful and wanting to help offered to order pizza. WONDERFUL!? I told myself that I would have something else. When the pizza got here, I looked to make myself something... there was no bread for me to make my usual sandwich... there was no milk to indulge in a large bowl of cereal and I WAS FRUSTRATED! So I took that slice of pizza and here are the four of us chomping away like ravenous wolves in the quiet of our powerless home. The sound was enough to drive anyone mad, but it was a long day and we all were pretty hungry. We ALL had another piece. And I was left with enough points to have a salad for dinner.

But Billy had softball, and the offer was on the table to go to Regina's after the game at the expense of a generous teammate... our thought the house will be hot and we haven't got a call yet to tell us otherwise. My plan was partake in the one slice I would have points for... but that didn't last long at all. By the time we left, my bonus points were gone plus my points for the next day were down to about half! Funny huh?! I was upset with myself. So I was on a mission to undo the damage I had done. I lowered my intake for each day and I walked with the kids half the week and went kickboxing. I managed to pull a loss from my backside! I was amazed. I knew I was gonna gain, just wanted to minimize it... and this?! I'll take it... I did work hard to get back on track. So now, I AM BACK! And ready. And I don't think me thinking I could do this alone- it is easy- how hard could it be- was helping either. I am giving it back to God. It surely is by His power within me that I can resist those cookies and pizza. Believe, those are 2 things that are REALLY REALLY hard to "lighten up". In attempt to keep me focused on the future and not my past screw ups, I have set a couple goals.

One of those goals... my 75 lb goal. The date I have PLACED ON MY CALENDAR is to be Sept 10th... if need be, the 17th. (If I am too far off and I feel like I have messed up too much, I am likely to give up... so I need to be flexible with myself.) That means that I would need to lose 2 lbs a week. Not impossible by any means, but a stretch- rather, a challenge. I am excited. I go t see my OBGYN at the end of Sept and part of me wants to see the reaction. Being heavier and pregnant, they always want to be kind and not hurtful, but the truth is- everyone is in danger! You know?! So now, I know that when God says its the right time and we want more children, we will be able to freely do that with much healthier circumstance. Plus I need to have the discussion about delivery options... I really don't like C sections... and I probably will not do this kid thing again if I have to have one! But now maybe the situation would be different!! BUT NEWAY! Another goal... and I know your chin my drop, but I set my 100 lb goal. Dec 25th is hopefully the date for that goal! Maybe the beginning of Jan because I know there won't be a meeting. Jan 10th will be one year anniversary of my first meeting. The time I realized I was fat and getting fatter?! Yeah, that time. HAHA. But yes, believe it or not... for those of you who may not believe it, they actually expect me to lose more than 100. But I don't think I intend to. Billy is afraid of me getting too small. Remember, we met while I was in high school... and I was not a skinny mini and I am already within 25lbs of that weight. Not necessarily the waist size yet, but I am workin' on it!

I have reached a goal pertaining to size! I don't care, I can wear a 14! Maybe not ALL but at least one!! OBVIOUSLY. A few months back I bought a pair of dressy shorts (city shorts) for church- not sure if I would be able to get into them before the summer ended. Well, in weeks past, I have been able to get into them and button them, but still not feel appropriate and comfortable, but this week was different. I can wear them now! And I will. At a meeting I set a goal to get into those shorts by the end of summer!! Goal achieved! Guess I need to go shopping again. I have to buy something else every time I get into my previous "goal clothes". Maybe by the end of summer I can be a TRUE 14 and buy 12's to look toward?! Those are my high school sizes though! Wow, almost 5 years of damage undone! You have to stand in awe God's power and His abilities to work within and through us. I would have thought nothing could ever change me!

Praise God! He is GREAT! And always faithful, even we I am not!